


Chickens, Badasses, and Frying Pans

by Accidental_Ducky



Series: Throwing Stones (glass houses) [3]
Category: Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
Genre: Clowns, F/M, Idiots in Love, Monster of the Week, They just wanted to go camping, Two halves of a whole idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23738827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accidental_Ducky/pseuds/Accidental_Ducky
Summary: Sawyer likes to think of himself as a confident young man that don't need no savior. He does, though. He needs a savior very much right now.
Relationships: Sawyer Moss/Tilda Webb
Series: Throwing Stones (glass houses) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1552861
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	Chickens, Badasses, and Frying Pans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [psychedelicbubblegum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychedelicbubblegum/gifts).



"Get out!" Sawyer ducks behind Tilda at the shout, ready to do just that even if it means his girlfriend thinks he's a weenie. He is a weenie, he's embraced that. Tilda Webb is the badass in this relationship and Sawyer Moss is the backpack guy like Kevin Hart in Jumanji. "No hunters!"

"Tot, you're shaking," Tilda says, brows furrowing. "Are you scared?" The look he sends her suggests where she can shove that question. She understands it, she always does, and she winks instead of getting prissy. "I always forget how touchy you get around clowns."

"They're evil," he grumbles, still hidden behind her. The clown is standing on the other side of a small clearing in the mess of brambles and vines; he's decked out in a silver suit with orange pom-pom buttons going down the front of it, white greasepaint smeared over his face with blood around his mouth. Sawyer doesn't want to think about the defenseless bunny that's lying dead at the clown's feet.

"Your mom never should have let you watch IT when you were five." Tilda sighs and starts forward, whipping out spells so fast that Eminem would be proud. Sawyer's certainly proud. The clown does his best to fight back, even manages to land a solid punch at one point, but Tilda's as hard-headed as they come in both literal and metaphorical senses.

"Hunters," another clown howls, dropping down from a tree. This one is a girl, her dress ruined and filthy with mud and other things Sawyer would rather not think about. She's running as soon as her feet touch the ground and Sawyer isn't embarrassed to say that he screams like a little girl.

Sawyer likes to think of himself as a confident young man that don't need no savior. He does, though. He needs a savior very much right now.

He grabs the first solid object he comes into contact with, swinging it in a sharp arch that connects with the clown's jaw and knocks her back a couple of feet. She doesn't drop, barely seems to register the blow, and she's charging again.

"Son of a bitch," he yelps, toppling to the ground when her shoulder collides with his middle. Her teeth are dangerously close to his neck when he manages to get another hit in, the weapon knocking a few of those teeth loose and the clown unconscious all in one. He scrambles to his feet again, dousing the body in salt and watching as it shrivels like a snail. "Tilda, salt!" He tosses her the container, Tilda catching it and dumping half of the salt on the clown.

When the woods have gone quiet again and the hunters are allowed to breathe, Sawyer glances down to see what weapon he'd grabbed. He can't quite bite back his smile when Tilda starts to giggle, dropping down beside him on the leaf-strewn ground.

"This must be how Flynn Rider felt," he says, hefting the skillet in his hand. "I'm gonna take this with us on every hunt."

"Maybe next time we'll be expecting to run into monsters," Tilda says, looking around the ruined camp site. This had been meant to be a romantic get away before college started, not a clown rodeo. All the same, any time spent with Tilda is time well spent. _God, I really am a geek_. He's just starting to pout when Tilda runs her fingers through his hair, her sunflower yellow nail polish matching this week's hair color.

"Think we can still use this frying pan to cook bacon if I wash it really good?"

* * *

Tilda Webb belongs to the amazingly talented [Psychedelicbubblegum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychedelicbubblegum/pseuds/psychedelicbubblegum), so y'all should go check out her works!


End file.
